Dear Friend,
I would like to briefly discuss two issues.
The first is regarding ignorance and boredom.
Today, I was told that "Engineering is boring". I was immediately offended and told the person that that was the end of the conversation. (As you probably know, I wish to study engineering in the future because I am passionate about science and technology)
The person was a stubborn.
This Stubborn told me that she is entitled to her opinion. I felt like telling her that she has absolutely no knowledge about engineering, or science for that matter. She claims to have gained some knowledge after living for 50 years, but obviously she has led a boring life, living without thinking, living without reflecting, living without a sense of purpose.
It really bothered me that she thinks she is entitled to an opinion in a matter which she has absolutely no knowledge. Absolutely none! She didn't even make her own decisions about her careers, and what are the struggles about her life that make her extraordinary? None!
I could go on and on about the stubborn's ignorance, and my fear of such inheritance. But who am I to condemn her? Who am I to say another person's life is boring? Who am I? Many people live their lives without engaging themselves in some intellectual quest. Yet, they still lead normal lives. Who am I to judge that they have lived without meaning, as if my life will turn out any better. But this is me, I am a person who is concerned about states of consciousness. I am insistent that a life must be meaningful, that a life has no meaning if it is not lived meaningfully (that is to say, I reserve the term "life" for a meaningful existence), an such meaning is based on living life to the fullest of one's capabilities and circumstances, living life constantly question its purpose and meaning, living life in accordance to moral values. (Morals? I still cannot resolve what I have learned to distil into my own understanding) Living blindly, so it seems, is looked down upon by my principles. BUT I AM PRIVILEGED. I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH THE OPPORTUNITIES TO CONTEMPLATE ON THE PURPOSE OF LIFE. SURE, THE STUBBORN COULD HAVE DONE THE SAME, BUT WHO AM I TO JUDGE!!!!!
Perhaps, therefore, my greatest talent is in making judgements and refuting them immediately.
On to the second issue. (When writing letters to you, I should be more focused, ignore all the other tabs. Similarly, I should be more confident in writing bullshit when practising essays)
I read an article calling Christians to be stupid for god. Yes, that is the title. The essential argument is that one does not have to be perfect to preach the word of god. One does not have to live fully according to good morals to spread god's word. One does not have to question, nor does he have to understand, to inquire, to seek knowledge about the existence of god and its implications, to preach about his presence.
Many people shared the article, presumably finding its rhetoric powerful. Look, do you see what it is saying? It is saying that you can be a hypocrite. Even worse, that you do not need to question to convince others about your religion! I strongly believe against that. The relationship between a person and his god is strictly personal. The person must always question, or else his faith is meaningless.
On the other hand, the article may just be suggesting that one shouldn't be afraid to preach despite his own perfections, rather than arguing that questioning is unnecessary. But of course it is necessary! Otherwise you are just a blind advertisement! You must seek to understand to your best ability, if not you have not made the leap of faith, and without that leap of faith, you have no faith to preach, you are preaching blindness and ignorance.
And definitely, your actions bear credibility to your claims. A pervert cannot preach respect, for how can a human claim to preach wolf-speak when he knows none. (That leads back to the first issue doesn't it?)
But such certain beliefs (certain meaning no uncertainty) are not faith, faith is always a leap. A blind leap is not faith. Faith is when you accept that you are insignificant to the vastness of the world, and you accept the limitations of your capabilities. Faith is when you suffer but never lose hope, because you believe in the meaning of your own existence despite the insignificance of it. Faith is when you make a conscious decision, that by making this leap you will stand at a greater height. But faith unquestioning faith is not faith. Faith is the most harsh form of questioning that ceaselessly presses for answers, but the faithful insists, for the sake of hope and meaning for his own existence.
To quote Nietzsche: "If you want to be a disciple of truth, inquire."
And God is supposed to be the truth.
Regards,
The Retard.
P.S. Plan, email, organise, work hard.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Dear Friend 14
Dear Friend,
There are many things to talk about.
First, let's talk about the speech given by a successful alumnus today during National Day's ceremony. ( I was about to write celebration when I realised that ceremony is much more appropriate.) He began the speech in Chinese, which for our school culture, was odd. One could say that the school's name became a misnomer over time. Then he talked about global competition. More specifically, he talked about how there will be increased foreign competition, and the so called "Asian Century". Accepting the fact that Asian Nations are developing at a faster pace and are catching up, he thinks that China and India will become more dominant in the global arena. As a result, we might have to speak Chinese to our employers one day. That explains why he began the speech in Chinese, to make a pertinent point. To be honest, I didn't listen to the speech that attentively. I don't really have the talent or natural inclination to make a speech that flows to another point naturally, but on a macroscale seems rather unfocused but well organised at the same time. And then the speaker went on to talk about how the school is provides us with a great education that will make us prepared for the challenges of the future. Of course, before that he also mentioned how his generation of the school is different from our generation. I believe he also briefly discussed the notion of "success". And even within 6 years, I myself have witnessed significant changes in the school.
But what I really want to talk about is his speech. It seemed odd, especially with the Chinese opening. I'm nor sure how others received the speech, but I did find it interesting. For some, it might be totally irrelevant to National Day, or to the so called inculcation of "important principles and values". But I think the speaker was interesting, he had more things to tell, he tried to give us some kind of confidence and practical reminder to the challenges that we shall face. I imagine myself in his shoes. If I were to come back to school to give a speech, what would I talk about? I would feel extremely nostalgic, knowing that some of my best days, and the best friends I have made are in this institution. Perhaps I would feel like reminiscing about my good ole days. Perhaps, as an alumnus who has seen and ventured into the brave new world, I want to warn my juniors about the perils that lie ahead. All those sentiments will condense to practical advice that sounds distant and in fact not useful at all. Sad isn't it? Then why you try to speak about ideals, or maybe your interesting life, or maybe encouraging people to cherish their time in the school, what kind of lasting impact does it have? I have listened to countless inspirational and moving speeches that tell me to have faith in the wonders of life, or something to becoming a better person. But I have become worse haven't I. I have picked up many bad habits, I have lost my innate intelligence, I have even lost my ability to focus. What have I achieved in my achtzehn years of life to be proud of? I guess nothing, nothing at all.
Nothing. The idea of nothing. I have thought about the idea of nothing many times when I took dumps. I have also really feared for my life when I seriously considered the idea of death. Should that be a start? Should I seriously consider the prospect of death everyday? I guess I should try that out.
National day, that was sometime ago, I should tell you that I wanted to finish this letter some days ago, but I got delayed by school work (I deliberately deleted the acronym to not reveal too much about myself, which is pretty darn ironic) and stuff. So, national day. National day in this country feels weird, the same ideas are always repeated, and I gradually become bored by them. That is not saying that I don't appreciate how far we have come, but having such a short history does have many disadvantages. Firstly, people don't have a strong sense of national identity. I hate how newspaper articles in the island never provide fresh perspectives on long debated issues such as national identity, education etc. They just repeat their old points, creating some false dichotomy with some lousy discussion. Secondly, there isn't really much to reminisce for the younger generations. The younger "elite" are looking forward to move out, and many don't even feel as much sense of belonging to this nation as I do, which really, ought not to be the case. The so called idea of national day was suggested by prayers for the nation, and that sing national day song segment. It gets people hyped up, with a false sense that they appreciate the progress of a nation. (I am just generalising for easier writing, and usually such generalisations are more of criticisms of myself than real generalisations) Same like those worship sessions. Not that I have been through those sessions or anything, but with some thought, how can anyone really get closer to God (another general notion) by singing and praising? "Worship" is just a substitute for singing songs about god. It makes participants feel as if they are "closer" to god, but really, it is just singing. I much rather question my understanding of god and religion, do good deeds than to "worship". as jaded or cynical as it may sound, "worship" is just to make people feel that they are a part of some religion, and also a pretty good way of making some people want to join that religion. It is a ritual, it has nothing to do with the search of truths and seeking understanding. But more on that another time, I am digressing.
I rarely ask people for things, and I also rarely expect people to do things for me. Even for my birthdays, I really don't care about presents and whatnot. This year I want to let my parents know that I appreciate what they have done for me, and birthday is really just a day to remember the suffering your mother has gone through for your sake. But one thing I really wish for, is a close friendship. There are so many things I don't tell even my closest friends, lest they judge me the wrong way. (Do you remember the time the Brain told you that he thought you were judgmental and that you made retarded comments when you always tend to postpone judgment and you were being completely serious?) That's why I write to you. I feel very lonely sometimes, and I always feel that among my own group of friends, I am the least important and the least liked of all. There are harsh things I have said about other people, I admit I was wrong, completely wrong. But just as Lear feels others have sinned more against him than he against others, I feel more misunderstood than I have misunderstood others. Do I always try to see good in others? Certainly I think? But what do people think of me? Cynical, jaded, socially awkward, insensitive and I always like to complain whatever. I am definitely complaining now, but I rarely complain about small things. It pains me, to have lived quite a well and not have someone whom I can totally confide with. Worst of all, I don't feel needed. I could just die and it would be inconsequential. Pessimistic as it may sound, I believe I speak the truth. Yes, people who know me would be sad. But having made no contribution to the world, what does it matter? Oh, maybe I represent a hope, there could be a chance I do something great right? Those are ambitions and dreams, and I only fantasise.
So, dear friend, maybe you had supernatural powers (but anything that has happened or could happen is natural), maybe you are fate, or more postively, destiny. Could I humbly ask you to consider something? I haven't asked for any real gift for my birthdays since secondary school, nor have I received any. It sounds selfish, I agree. But please, I beg you, could you let me meet my friend on my birthday? Could you let me meet someone I am totally at ease with? Please, I am on my knees.
The class, divided, unfortunately. I personally don't like how those people lacking a particular chromosome can decide to not go to school so easily. Sure, they are outnumbered, but like my group, we keep to ourselves too much. No one is to blame, but it is just sad how some people refuse to interact on their own presumptuous basis.
movie- What movie? Princess mononoke? I shouldn't have forgotten.
I helped this guy out at a survey, I got laughed at, as if I couldn't refuse. They speak as if they have so much experience and skill that they can reject others without feeling guilty. But don't they realise that surveys are important. They are much more cynical than I am, yet I am always considered to be the cynical one. (cynical in the modern day negative sense)
If there was an encounter in life that I would never be able to forget, what would it be?
Regards,
The miserable retard.
There are many things to talk about.
First, let's talk about the speech given by a successful alumnus today during National Day's ceremony. ( I was about to write celebration when I realised that ceremony is much more appropriate.) He began the speech in Chinese, which for our school culture, was odd. One could say that the school's name became a misnomer over time. Then he talked about global competition. More specifically, he talked about how there will be increased foreign competition, and the so called "Asian Century". Accepting the fact that Asian Nations are developing at a faster pace and are catching up, he thinks that China and India will become more dominant in the global arena. As a result, we might have to speak Chinese to our employers one day. That explains why he began the speech in Chinese, to make a pertinent point. To be honest, I didn't listen to the speech that attentively. I don't really have the talent or natural inclination to make a speech that flows to another point naturally, but on a macroscale seems rather unfocused but well organised at the same time. And then the speaker went on to talk about how the school is provides us with a great education that will make us prepared for the challenges of the future. Of course, before that he also mentioned how his generation of the school is different from our generation. I believe he also briefly discussed the notion of "success". And even within 6 years, I myself have witnessed significant changes in the school.
But what I really want to talk about is his speech. It seemed odd, especially with the Chinese opening. I'm nor sure how others received the speech, but I did find it interesting. For some, it might be totally irrelevant to National Day, or to the so called inculcation of "important principles and values". But I think the speaker was interesting, he had more things to tell, he tried to give us some kind of confidence and practical reminder to the challenges that we shall face. I imagine myself in his shoes. If I were to come back to school to give a speech, what would I talk about? I would feel extremely nostalgic, knowing that some of my best days, and the best friends I have made are in this institution. Perhaps I would feel like reminiscing about my good ole days. Perhaps, as an alumnus who has seen and ventured into the brave new world, I want to warn my juniors about the perils that lie ahead. All those sentiments will condense to practical advice that sounds distant and in fact not useful at all. Sad isn't it? Then why you try to speak about ideals, or maybe your interesting life, or maybe encouraging people to cherish their time in the school, what kind of lasting impact does it have? I have listened to countless inspirational and moving speeches that tell me to have faith in the wonders of life, or something to becoming a better person. But I have become worse haven't I. I have picked up many bad habits, I have lost my innate intelligence, I have even lost my ability to focus. What have I achieved in my achtzehn years of life to be proud of? I guess nothing, nothing at all.
Nothing. The idea of nothing. I have thought about the idea of nothing many times when I took dumps. I have also really feared for my life when I seriously considered the idea of death. Should that be a start? Should I seriously consider the prospect of death everyday? I guess I should try that out.
National day, that was sometime ago, I should tell you that I wanted to finish this letter some days ago, but I got delayed by school work (I deliberately deleted the acronym to not reveal too much about myself, which is pretty darn ironic) and stuff. So, national day. National day in this country feels weird, the same ideas are always repeated, and I gradually become bored by them. That is not saying that I don't appreciate how far we have come, but having such a short history does have many disadvantages. Firstly, people don't have a strong sense of national identity. I hate how newspaper articles in the island never provide fresh perspectives on long debated issues such as national identity, education etc. They just repeat their old points, creating some false dichotomy with some lousy discussion. Secondly, there isn't really much to reminisce for the younger generations. The younger "elite" are looking forward to move out, and many don't even feel as much sense of belonging to this nation as I do, which really, ought not to be the case. The so called idea of national day was suggested by prayers for the nation, and that sing national day song segment. It gets people hyped up, with a false sense that they appreciate the progress of a nation. (I am just generalising for easier writing, and usually such generalisations are more of criticisms of myself than real generalisations) Same like those worship sessions. Not that I have been through those sessions or anything, but with some thought, how can anyone really get closer to God (another general notion) by singing and praising? "Worship" is just a substitute for singing songs about god. It makes participants feel as if they are "closer" to god, but really, it is just singing. I much rather question my understanding of god and religion, do good deeds than to "worship". as jaded or cynical as it may sound, "worship" is just to make people feel that they are a part of some religion, and also a pretty good way of making some people want to join that religion. It is a ritual, it has nothing to do with the search of truths and seeking understanding. But more on that another time, I am digressing.
I rarely ask people for things, and I also rarely expect people to do things for me. Even for my birthdays, I really don't care about presents and whatnot. This year I want to let my parents know that I appreciate what they have done for me, and birthday is really just a day to remember the suffering your mother has gone through for your sake. But one thing I really wish for, is a close friendship. There are so many things I don't tell even my closest friends, lest they judge me the wrong way. (Do you remember the time the Brain told you that he thought you were judgmental and that you made retarded comments when you always tend to postpone judgment and you were being completely serious?) That's why I write to you. I feel very lonely sometimes, and I always feel that among my own group of friends, I am the least important and the least liked of all. There are harsh things I have said about other people, I admit I was wrong, completely wrong. But just as Lear feels others have sinned more against him than he against others, I feel more misunderstood than I have misunderstood others. Do I always try to see good in others? Certainly I think? But what do people think of me? Cynical, jaded, socially awkward, insensitive and I always like to complain whatever. I am definitely complaining now, but I rarely complain about small things. It pains me, to have lived quite a well and not have someone whom I can totally confide with. Worst of all, I don't feel needed. I could just die and it would be inconsequential. Pessimistic as it may sound, I believe I speak the truth. Yes, people who know me would be sad. But having made no contribution to the world, what does it matter? Oh, maybe I represent a hope, there could be a chance I do something great right? Those are ambitions and dreams, and I only fantasise.
So, dear friend, maybe you had supernatural powers (but anything that has happened or could happen is natural), maybe you are fate, or more postively, destiny. Could I humbly ask you to consider something? I haven't asked for any real gift for my birthdays since secondary school, nor have I received any. It sounds selfish, I agree. But please, I beg you, could you let me meet my friend on my birthday? Could you let me meet someone I am totally at ease with? Please, I am on my knees.
The class, divided, unfortunately. I personally don't like how those people lacking a particular chromosome can decide to not go to school so easily. Sure, they are outnumbered, but like my group, we keep to ourselves too much. No one is to blame, but it is just sad how some people refuse to interact on their own presumptuous basis.
movie- What movie? Princess mononoke? I shouldn't have forgotten.
I helped this guy out at a survey, I got laughed at, as if I couldn't refuse. They speak as if they have so much experience and skill that they can reject others without feeling guilty. But don't they realise that surveys are important. They are much more cynical than I am, yet I am always considered to be the cynical one. (cynical in the modern day negative sense)
If there was an encounter in life that I would never be able to forget, what would it be?
Regards,
The miserable retard.
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Monday, August 5, 2013
About Friends
I am pretty darn optimistic towards life in general, but pretty darn pessimistic towards others' perception of me. In other words, I have faith in humanity and none in myself.
That's why, even though I have friends whom I really love and respect, I always feel insecure as to whether they see me as their friend.
That's why, even though I have friends whom I really love and respect, I always feel insecure as to whether they see me as their friend.
Dear Friend 13
Dear Friend,
Today I had an interesting discuss with a friend. It seemed trivial but I think it has some importance because I have never made this fact explicitly known to my consciousness.
So, a fake privacy screen filter. If a privacy filter does not work at all, it cannot be called a fake privacy filter because it is not. A more extreme example is that you can't call a human a fake dog, because a human is not a dog. The notion of "fake" comes to play when someone (a human) insists that something is something else. So, if someone insists a piece of useless plastic is a privacy filter, then it can be called a "fake". Seems trivial doesn't it? But the declaration and intention of the human is crucial, and somehow at least for me, I often neglect that. Just like in scenarios of Common Knowledge, the declaration by a human is significant. Here, the declaration by someone that something is something else is a necessary condition for something to be called a fake.
Okay, then what about "山寨" products? They are copycat, but not fake. In fact, some order of knowledge that is related to common knowledge is applied here. (Pardon me if I use the concepts wrongly, and I am pretty darn sure I did) The consumers of the 山寨 products know that that the producers know that the consumers know the products are 山寨. I think in most cases 山寨 products do not market themselves as the real deal of some known brand. They copy the whole deal, but they may even be marketed as 山寨. So the idea of fake does not apply here, because there is no intention to declare something as something else. However, copyright infringements do apply since essentially, they are not paying for the rights to use the so called "intellectual property".
And I suddenly recall a CGP grey video, which stated that copyright is a contract between society and content producers (artistic, scientific, literary) (content is bad diction on my part) to promote the progress of science and "useful" arts by securing for limited times the exclusive rights to their respective works. This seems reasonable from an economic point of view. For artists, it allows them to earn money directly. For scientists, who spend time and effort in developing new technologies or making new discoveries, this gives them the economic incentive to work too. Since many scientists are funded by corporations, corporations are only willing to fund if they can make profit. Without copyrights, firms will be unwilling to invest in research and development since other firms can used the results of their hard earned research and make more profits, since those firms do not have to bear the initial cost of investing in research.
The key is, copyright has to apply for a limited period of time. In my opinion, it should be within the author's lifetime. CGP grey's video said that there is a life + 70 years copyright extension, and this definitely defeats the purpose of copyrights. The limited period of time should be long enough such that it encourages production of original content from all authors and short enough such that the original author has to produce new content. But that is hard to determine, and given the short sightedness of many, it is probably impossible to remove the copyright extension now, and that's a sad thing.
Mystery Cookie One Day: you come into work and find a cookie mysteriously placed on your desk. Grateful to whoever left this anonymous cookie, you eat it. The next morning you come in and find another cookie. This continues for months until one Day a different object is left—and this time there’s a note.
This is a super cool idea!!!!
Love, horror, mystery, thriller and complete waste of time!!!
A Diary may be a suitable text type.
That's write! (haha the pun!)
I also want to write about prawns.
Emotion reflections? Ha, legs and infats.
Regards,
The Retard.
Today I had an interesting discuss with a friend. It seemed trivial but I think it has some importance because I have never made this fact explicitly known to my consciousness.
So, a fake privacy screen filter. If a privacy filter does not work at all, it cannot be called a fake privacy filter because it is not. A more extreme example is that you can't call a human a fake dog, because a human is not a dog. The notion of "fake" comes to play when someone (a human) insists that something is something else. So, if someone insists a piece of useless plastic is a privacy filter, then it can be called a "fake". Seems trivial doesn't it? But the declaration and intention of the human is crucial, and somehow at least for me, I often neglect that. Just like in scenarios of Common Knowledge, the declaration by a human is significant. Here, the declaration by someone that something is something else is a necessary condition for something to be called a fake.
Okay, then what about "山寨" products? They are copycat, but not fake. In fact, some order of knowledge that is related to common knowledge is applied here. (Pardon me if I use the concepts wrongly, and I am pretty darn sure I did) The consumers of the 山寨 products know that that the producers know that the consumers know the products are 山寨. I think in most cases 山寨 products do not market themselves as the real deal of some known brand. They copy the whole deal, but they may even be marketed as 山寨. So the idea of fake does not apply here, because there is no intention to declare something as something else. However, copyright infringements do apply since essentially, they are not paying for the rights to use the so called "intellectual property".
And I suddenly recall a CGP grey video, which stated that copyright is a contract between society and content producers (artistic, scientific, literary) (content is bad diction on my part) to promote the progress of science and "useful" arts by securing for limited times the exclusive rights to their respective works. This seems reasonable from an economic point of view. For artists, it allows them to earn money directly. For scientists, who spend time and effort in developing new technologies or making new discoveries, this gives them the economic incentive to work too. Since many scientists are funded by corporations, corporations are only willing to fund if they can make profit. Without copyrights, firms will be unwilling to invest in research and development since other firms can used the results of their hard earned research and make more profits, since those firms do not have to bear the initial cost of investing in research.
The key is, copyright has to apply for a limited period of time. In my opinion, it should be within the author's lifetime. CGP grey's video said that there is a life + 70 years copyright extension, and this definitely defeats the purpose of copyrights. The limited period of time should be long enough such that it encourages production of original content from all authors and short enough such that the original author has to produce new content. But that is hard to determine, and given the short sightedness of many, it is probably impossible to remove the copyright extension now, and that's a sad thing.
Mystery Cookie One Day: you come into work and find a cookie mysteriously placed on your desk. Grateful to whoever left this anonymous cookie, you eat it. The next morning you come in and find another cookie. This continues for months until one Day a different object is left—and this time there’s a note.
This is a super cool idea!!!!
Love, horror, mystery, thriller and complete waste of time!!!
A Diary may be a suitable text type.
That's write! (haha the pun!)
I also want to write about prawns.
Emotion reflections? Ha, legs and infats.
Regards,
The Retard.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Dear Friend 12
Dear Friend,
I started work today, but I could be more efficient. Tomorrow I will finish Act 3 in the afternoon and proceed to finish Act 4 Scene 2 in the night perhaps. I believe I can do it. I will accomplish it.
I really want to speak and get to know sie, again. Yes I'm pathetic.
Common knowledge. It's interesting.
How fast can you draw stars? Look, you will lose control! Wait, draw a box around the star! Isn't that a flag? No! It's a dead end! A scene of Death!
95, 5, eyes and gravy. But what about creativity!\
Train, physics, physique.
Regards,
The Retard
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)