Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Dear Friend 9

Dear Friend,

I am still very distracted, and I think I know why.
Firstly, I am still thinking about them. In school, I am on the lookout. I wish to be noticed, and I anticipate and notice. It annoys me. It bothers me. Is there something wrong with me or to other people experience such feelings too? I barely know them at all. I barely do. Yet, the feeling is strong. I hate it. Infatuations. I hate them. I search, browse and imagine, or perhaps fantasise is a better word. I hate what I am doing. Have you had to deal with this?
Secondly, the internet distracts me. But I can deal with it.

I have something to confess. I have many good friends, but I always feel like the least important, the least liked among them. It's as if there is barrier between us. My closest friends wouldn't confide in me. I learn about some things from my closest friends the last. I feel bad, is it because of the way I act that caused it. I make fun of others too often. Way too often.

I heard a song. A song that sounded of so much nostalgia and regret. I hope my song will only be one of nostalgia.

What kind of songs do you like? Well, I can't even answer that question.

You can reply to me, you know.

Regards,
The Retard

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